In the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, it's all too easy to get caught up in the relentless juggling of our daily activities, family crises, and personal fulfillment. We often overlook the profound and transformative power of gratitude and appreciation. These qualities, when cultivated consciously, can lead to a more joyful, content, and meaningful existence.

How do you switch over to feelings of gratitude and appreciation when that neighbor yelled at you or that maniac cut you off on Hwy 101? It’s hard to appreciate others when inside you don’t feel appreciated by others.

When you are not feeling happy about the world or your neighbors, your friends, your family, your situation, that is the time to bring out your natural born tools! I'm going to share with you what I teach my clients as a life coach, as well as my favorite method for shifting a triggered emotion and returning to a state of gratitude and appreciation.

When you return to feelings of gratitude and appreciation, life reverts to equilibrium. It is calming, it is joyful, it is loving, and you’ll find that relationships fall in line, situations work themselves out, and your creative thinking mind becomes clearer. Moving through your day becomes enjoyable rather than a feeling of dread. Your day is in flow rather than in lack.

Gratitude and appreciation are often seen as passive emotions, experienced in response to receiving something positive in our lives. However, they are more than just reactions; they are practices and attitudes that we can actively cultivate. Emotions are a form of energy. Anything that is energy can be redirected and transformed to a new energy or a new emotion. You have the ability to decide what emotions you want to feel minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. The power to shift any emotion lies within you.

It starts with you making a decision to change how you want to feel.

Awareness begins when you notice the unwanted emotion you wish to change. As a human, you have a wide range of emotions to untangle, and each emotion feels different from the next. Some say, “that to feel emotions is to feel alive.” Appreciate your ability to feel and discern what emotion you are feeling in the moment.

Next, understand that you can shift and change any emotion right in the moment. With practice, I’ve been able to shift from feeling angry to feeling grateful in less than 60 seconds. When you are triggered, make the decision at that point to return to a feeling of appreciation and gratitude.

An effortless way to let go of an unwanted emotion is to understand that emotions are just a form of energy. Looking at the emotional trigger as energy allows you to observe your thoughts and emotions without being swept away by them, and without acknowledgement of the original trigger. Separating from the feeling takes practice. You could imagine this energy lifting out of your body like the floating spray coming off a waterfall. Imagine the emotional trigger rising and floating out of your body.

When the emotional feeling has subsided, you can then direct your mind to think of things you are grateful and/or thankful for. This puts you in a centered calmness of feeling gratitude and appreciation.

Once you return to that centered calmness, this is then the perfect time to begin thinking of what you are grateful for from the situation that triggered you in the first place. Perhaps it gave you more clarity of what you don’t want?  Perhaps it was the impetus that pushed you to make a change? Perhaps it is revealing an area in your life that needs further reflection in order to heal?

For me, the most powerful way to shift back to appreciation and gratitude is to look at the “silver linings” of the situation at hand. The expression “silver linings” represents the idea that even in the darkest of circumstances, there is often something good or advantageous to be discovered or gained.

An example of this is when my husband passed away and I was locked down with grief. I switched my mentality and focused on the silver linings, the unseen benefits if you will, of his death. Although I deeply loved him, I realized that I never would have found my passion as a life coach and a clinical hypnotherapist if he were still alive. His death directly led me to seek a completely different career of helping people, which gives me immense joy.

Other ways to return to a feeling of gratitude and appreciation is to create a gratitude journal where you list what you are grateful for as ideas or thoughts cross the threshold of your awareness. If you aren’t into journaling, then make mental notes when you first wake up in the morning. Think of three things you appreciate in your life or things you will appreciate in the coming day. Engaging in acts of kindness, connecting with nature, and practicing self-care also fosters the feeling of gratitude and appreciation.

As Thanksgiving approaches, take the opportunity to pause and reflect on what you appreciate in the world. Consider expanding this practice to each day in your life and return to that calm and centered self you were born to be with a dose of gratitude and a sprinkle of appreciation.

Note: This article was published in the Villager Spotlight Magazine (October 2023 edition)